Thursday, November 5

Life, Living, and Loving

10 months ago my grandpa passed away. This event has changed the way I think about the world,life, and living.

Prior to my grandpa ascending to heaven,he stays with me together with my grandma. I have always been very busy with my own surroundings and activities. We all walk, breathe, and sit around the house, but I was never really communicating with him. Occasionally he would ask me to take his cup of water. Occasionally he would ask me to help him turn on the Indonesian news so that he can watch. Even though we lived in the same roof, I never really felt we were living together, loving together.

It's really strange what I have been feeling these couple of weeks. Honestly, lately I have been feeling rather broken. Often times I rethink what is the point of living? Do I just live so I can get more scars on me? Why people around me are ignoring me? What is my purpose? Why I feel like I cannot do anything? While sitting on the bus, my eyes were only staring blankly on the floor...

It's difficult - I learned from my grandpa's passing away that while we live we should love so we won't regret, but at the same time we as people get tired. When we are tired, it's so hard to love. Sometimes I feel really disappointed with people around me: why do they treat me like this? why do they talk to me like this? why am I this bad? I want to be by myself... but I think it is possible either me or the other person on the horizon pass away anytime. Won't I regret not spending time, talking, caring, and loving this person?

Still really hard for me up to this day... my heart is not settled. But I have learned one thing: take the time, breathe and just erase - create a happy world of yourself. Once you feel better, invite this person to your happy world.. Initiate small positive words and talks and hug the person. Get better..

Monday, November 2

My Christmas Wishlist (2015)

Hi there! How is your Fall season going? It feels weird because for me today is the first day of work after Daylight saving is over. I feel not so in a good mood because when I go home, the sky is dark already! I was planning to take a walk home today, but because it is dark once I saw the bus I hopped on right away.

Apart from the gloomy timing, though, I am excited with the fact that it is the Holiday Season soon! I noticed a lot of online shops like Amazon has started teasing us with many 'black fridayish' deal. It is the time for us to shop for gifts or even outfit to wear for the upcoming parties we RSVP-ed! This time I am collaborating with to create a wishlist. So I thought it is the perfect time to create a Holiday/Christmas Wishlist! When I visited their site, I was really happy to see that the price is super affordable, and their items are ubber cutte! Besides selling Women's clothing, they are also selling Tech/Gadget stuff. So if you are looking for those as Christmas gift, you can also visit their site.

When I scrolled through, I grouped my wishlist into two: Holiday Party (dresses or stuff one can wear for the Holiday Party) and We Still Swag (Clothing you can still wear this Winter.. Winter doesn't mean dull, we can still swag!)

Wish List Christmas
Blue Lace Bodycon Dress - $7.27, Black Lace Empire Waist Dress - $5.99, Vintage Lace Dress - $13.28

We Still Swag

What do you think? Don't you think they looked so fashionable and super 'on-budget'? Start taking a look at their site, add some items to your wish list and you can shop so much with your $20! 

Curious about the product and quality? I will be reviewing their products in the upcoming post! Stay tuned and shoot me an email with any question.

Happy 'soon-to-be' Holiday!



Saturday, October 3

Move Backward Look Forward

Sweaters - H&M, Top - Forever 21, Skirt - Unbranded, Shoes - Ash, Necklace -, Purse - Zara

Hi from Chicago! It is super chilly these past days with the wind blowing super hard. I got sick yesterday evening because of the cold, strong wind here. Today it's cold again (not liking it)! And so it is the time for my bulky sweaters to go out. I paired up my white sweaters from H&M with a new skirt from mom. It is really bulky and thick as well. To color my all white outfit, I decided to put on my new favorite necklace from I love the unique style and color of this necklace, it is so refreshing! 

My life this past week has been really strange, actually. A lot of changes and moves; taking some steps back and actually rethinking my priorities. I got to feel like an adult, going out of the box and seeing what I need to do differently. I learned that sometimes you can stop what you do to save a bigger things, and for me it is relationship with other people. Realizing that stopping what we do is not always bad and destructive anyways, in fact it can be good. So if you are facing problems, take a step back and see your problem in a bigger picture - talk to your close friends and family, ask for suggestions, and discuss. Sometimes you can cry and you can be angry, let it all out. If you have to stop, do it knowing that good and better things will come your way. Move backward - and don't forget to look forward.